an honest mistake

im attracted to misery
pulled inside--from the waist down
this haunting creation.
my pain resembles the wings
of a forgotten goddess.
like a tattooed mistake
the artist left hanging,
thick lines
dripping pleasure
lie through my black veins.

what an "honest mistake,"
she may have said.
just another beautiful illusion
an oil on canvas
with a slight water color stain.

with a twisted smile
my blood sank
fading gently-
I could see the misery was no longer engraved.
broken up
my skin-my heart,
deranged between the magnetism-

what brought me to this unwanted mark

1st love

they say that your 1st love
is the one that you will always remember.
the ups and downs.
all the stupid silly sounds.
characteristics of your love
or what you thought love was.
there are tiny hidden gates in a relationship.
they open and close unexpectedly. shutting you into confusion.
you confess yourself to him. you proclaim your soul.
then she doesn't know him anymore.
he is closing a door to open another.
for not even a simple friendship could save-
her
or
him
from this wall.
a shattered tapestry
if she could have only found the right thread
just so she could see what it would have become.
who he could have been.
but no,
lies lurk in the dark
and shadowed emotions kill.
like eyes
no matter how beautiful
or blue.


she cries once again.
locking the door
behind her.