Poetry is always nice!
isn't it?

The Walls Bleed

the walls bleed
dripping, flowing
the white walls filled with color
a red so bright that it blinds you
you can only feel the heat, the power, the warmth
the walls bleed
dripping, flowing
for you
inside
yourself
these white walls
bleed

the walls bleed
dripping, flowing
rising, deeper and deeper
untill, the white is no more
darker and darker
it turns,
black.

Why I am

crazy
to dance by yourself in the conner or the room
different
to talk to the people no one does
special
not to care what other people think
believe
to help someone else in need
power
to let your voice be heard
dream
to open your mind to anything

all the crazy, different people, are special because they believe in the power to dream the unknown dream.

Its your turn

you think the world turns for you,
you think the people serve you,
you think i am nothing,
you think about only what you want,
you’ll never understand the world.
now its going to stop turning,
now they will hurt you,
now you are nothing,
now its only what meant to be,
now you’ll understand the world,
now you will die.

Desperation is the only limit.
Ever wonder if one day, you wouldn't be limited to the things you can't do. That people can respect you for the way you are. It seems that everywhere, people see something we don't. Something different, that doesn't make sense, that can't be explained. Its only our stupidity....

Devotion between ever lasting moment, we try and fix everything to be perfect. Like grades....no one in my society canlive without having the A/A+ on every paper. But to me, its seems pointless. Gettinginto the "idea college" making the millions everyone thinks that will make you happy, isn't right. But it drives us crazy. The pressure, the people, the "society" we are all trying to fit into. But what we don't relaize is that we never can.

There is a very thin line between dreams and reality. We all grow up thinking one thing, yet it comes out to be just another protected image in our minds. Like meeting your favorite singer or acter and finding out there real jerks. Nothing is what it seems. Living, you are paved a path to fallow. Not just to fallow but, to live by. Every moment and situation changes that path. Which after time, creates you as a person.
But yet, who cares? There are so many opinions, visions, and ideas, that will never be heard. (or listened to) Your just another pawn in the game of life, being moved by higher statused ones. You cant stop it, it just keeps going, untill you die. Unless, you do something, stand up for someone, vote for something different, changing society can help change the world. But we dont, we are too afraid of rejection and being out casted. The humility of getting something “wrong”. But you know, we are not wrong. We dont deserve to be shunned, or blocked out because of our ideas or beliefs. We are all human, we should be heard.

all my life i will be waiting for you
you are my silver skies
making gray shift into blue.
wrap your hands around my heart
and tell me how these things will heal
like these tightly stitched ribbons
draped across my ugly hue.

tears of doubt fill the room
shameless,
im empty
scared to renew.
ive become to believe
that i am not real.
when i lie here in the cold
with thoughts of you.

every night
i set a table upon my bed
sheets of time
tumbling,
waiting for this feeling to crash
this moment of silence
to finally end.

i watch the shadows fall
a colorless dance,
a window of memories
my speciality,
that never seems to last.

so here i am
screaming from my eyes.
upsidedown emotions
are rampid,
flying in search of a key
that only you can find.

I am a seeker.
finder of winged creatures,
empty boxes,
black clothes,
a mind boggler
and funny terror,
elusive dreamer,
unwinding a false reality.
laying a line of mystery,
singing a tune of misery,
as a five part circle of one lined poetry...

i believe in parallel dimensions,
imaginary friends with strange food fetishes,
little monkeys riding playground horses,
fairies, elves, and the 7th sense.

I love music that taps my feet and mind,
to swim in the freezing rain,
riding my bike into the woods on fall afternoons,
and talking with friends until the break of dawn.

i know the penguins stole my sanity,
and writing my soul.
i only remember,
why i still go.

what do you believe?

i look out the window everyday, and fear what would happen. would the world change? would anyone care? or, would i just be that stupid mistake we all take for granite- that one confused mixed up kid, using her heart’s ideas more than her own natural minds?
what would i think? would i believe i would find happiness or, would i believe in another life after taking my own.
what do you see in that sunset on the hill, fading from red-orange-to a deep black. could that color be the emptiness in my eyes--stretched to the flawless limits--or just the sun. a reflection of the past?
what lies in the mind when my eyes search those roads and rivers, fishing for my own path to follow. perhaps, i could lead myself into a new line of clothing--a thin rack of denial, changing as the styles do?
i sit to think as the chair wobbles beneath me, wondering if a bowling ball was dropped on my head. wondering, if it’s all a lie--a joke--a false enemy. with all the anger and frustration built into bullshit streamlined television. i can only believe that what happens isn’t real, not happening--to me. only a cycle, a mode, a relentless era of disbelief, that one day will just disappear.
could i challenge my self confidence, and push myself to believe that I'm not alone--lost in the foggy woods--thorns on my feet? or, can i only hope that someone will save me--bringing me to my real home-- someone to tell me what it means to love--be loved--and hold it tightly against my heart?
i am here in a poetic loss of words, using the silence in my head to create this. to dream--think--and fear. to wait and pray, for it all to disappear. to let the wind take me back to the beginning- thawing the wings on my back--setting me free

trapped

trapped
inside my own skin
sounds of clashing pins
there is no gravity here.
wasted night turn into sleeping days
i fall back into spacey miss communicated languages.
like how i dance in my sleep,
dreamless awakenings.
a strange land i must be from,
childhood mistaked me for pure innocence
illogical thoughts
in this imaginary world.
changing so quickly
like the striped socks
fading
on the artificial face
i am lost within...

trapped.
what do you see?

The mad rush never stops in Wegmans.
An ever-present mass of people, just keep coming.
They do not care who you are, or where you come from.
Just as long as you move your ass, so they can get some food.
I fear for those innocent adolescents, whose heads are scanning the cookies
or fruit on the walls, staring out into the deep space called hunger, with eyes
lit with glittery pain. They are the ones who get trampled, the ones whose
hands become stained from the slippery jelly jars on the floors. Even the
ones, whose arms were just never ever long enough,
to reach that one of a kind candy bar in the check out line.
I realize now, that our yearning for food comes from these kids. Our minds,
just as before, are searching for the fulfilling moment of truth. Such as the
natural grasping sensation of your favorite cereal, or, even the smell of
freshly baked cookies, the feelings come and go.
We don't remember these things now. These simple moments of pleasure,
just as the innocent child looks on, it all becomes lost to us. As if that one feeling,
was almost buried deep inside,
the hustle and bustle of Wegmans.

Tragedy.
It struck at 1 and 3.
The meaningless vibrations of a broken heart.
She lifted her hands up to see her face. Her once beautiful blue eyes now
stood bloodshot red against the light. She could feel her steady heart beat
on the mirror, as each hand traced her pale face. The slick glass began
to melt as the blood infused her eyes. Her tears, weaving a chain of sorrow
down her cheek, blessed her fingers as each drop was wiped away.
As she undid her hair, all the strands fall freely back into place.
She liked to think of it as a butterfly forming wings, because of the huge
multicolored locks swarming together.
A complete metaphoric fantasy, as seen written on the back of her hand.
Just a remnant mark of another unfinished story.
Looking again into the mirror, she held her head inside her hands,
cocking her chin from side to side.
"Too much depth," she mumbled.
"I have to look beyond that."
Stammering out of the room, she jumped in the shower. The water
cascaded her face, as each layer of makeup was slowly removed. Her naked
body seemed to shiver, as her feet wiggled upon the
linoleum as if on the dance floor.
The subtle light faded out--the shadow of a disco ball glowed.
She pushed her way through a black tank top and some blue jeans,
as she found her way back to the bedroom. Jolting the sheets off the bed, she
became horrified. An art project gone wrong appeared. Shards of glass mixed
with tricolored blood splattered on top of pale pink cloth.
She squinted; nothing changed.
A cork lay on top of her pillow, which lead the way for rest of the bottle.
The glass reflected her eyes. The pupils, small and yet delicate, circled
around the bright room.
Blue, purple, pink, yellow, white, and red, flashed before her.
The distance of beams was not above purity, just simple fragments
scrambling her mind. Images jumped, and thoughts imbalanced, as she kept looking
inside that one eye.
The silence was broken, with a knock at the door.
"Oh no, not again.."

vanish into my heart.
hold me close and deep,
blink

i am here just to see you breathe.
to watch the simple actions of your body
the movements of ironic charm,
each strange and yet subtle

i want to reach inside you,
pulling all of your thoughts awake
kicking together the broken pieces

i want to glue them to me.
solve the riddle of time
and dive into the pool of your mind,

i wonder some days,
what is it that keeps you alive within me.
a memory of falsehood,
a flame,
a candle of hope,
flickering in the wind.

i watch you ever so closely,
more then you could ever imagine.
but i don't know you.
i am just a martyr
looking beyond the face of a man,
into a soul

i want to touch the rose.
the fine points of each petal,
gracefully dances in tenderness.

how i wish i could be a flower.
blooming in the bright sun rays
within the morn of springtime.
slowly shedding its own tears,
dew drops sheltering away petty green gashes.
slight reconfiguration,
a dance inside the night's air
burnt ends
fly like embers above my head.
swallowing each falling star,
darkness overlays my senses.
i find my flower at rest
closing her eyelids,
a brief moment of prayer
fades into the rising sun.

watch where the darkness falls.
you'll find me their,
waiting for another red rose bud
to pop up.

i wonder what it's like to be you

i wonder what it’s like to be you
pulling your knee high socks up your legs, even though they will never reach your skirt
i wonder what it’s like to be you
pushing your bouncy hair around like molding clay. shaping your thoughts on the top of your head.
i wonder what it’s like to be you
wearing clothing that is sexy but, at the same time, holding the essence of virginity
i wonder what it’s like to be you
grasping a sense of reality, that i may never see
i wonder what it’s like to be you
to stand tall and not be afraid
i wonder what it’s like to be you
pushing your soul, in which i can not compete with
i wonder what it’s like to be you
believing in your heart, and not your head
i wonder what it’s like to be you
being truly in love, and not knowing it
i wonder what it’s like to be you
to feel alive, almost every day
i wonder what it’s like to be you
to dance in the rain, without fear of being struck down
i wonder what it’s like to be you
but then, i look inside, and i ask myself the same question

I dream of starry nights
along magic streams
bursting with flavor
embedded with jewels around the grass
plucking money off of the humongous trees
while eating the cotton candy clouds

colors swirling
as though to drip off the canvas
or to burst into flames of panic
the marshmallow fluff glazes the town
flake by flake
as if we had shaken the snow globe
but it all just melts away
this foggy place
of wonder and demise
so again, all I can do is stare
into the night sky......

We are controlled by man
a man who is never changed
he sits with a wand of truth and passes us all, over and over again
we cant stop it, nor do we try
for our lives are like flowers,
in the end we will die

We all weep and moan, as the cycle goes on
moving with the world
crawling upon ourself,
choking on our own food,
and beating us down, with a simple tune.
and inspite of this,
we move with the world

cant you see?
everything is perfect and going fine
as long as you move with the man
that points the wand, over and over again

Why not, you say?
ill tell you why,
you see that pile of red gush and lumps
that seems to rises every month
it contain the souls and brains
of those who decided to rebel
and for this, my soul will never change.

I hate society.
I hope it turns its back at me.
Becuase I dont want to see its face in mine anymore.

i always wanted a my grandma to sing me to sleep. something soothing and
underlying that hits you deep inside, right before you close your eyes. maybe a
memory, or a lucid dream that sparks your intellect. like the depth of my eyes,
i can see straight into my own heart, and not have enough thread to fix it once
again. its a funny shade of blue. a man once said i had the most beautiful eyes.
of course, like any naive girl, you assumed they were lying. but today i knew
she was not. some simple friend for whom i have not known for very long, said
she had never noticed how strangely beautiful my eyes were. like a crystal ball
in front of the fire, i could stand it all. these eyes kill me. my memories and
once cherished people. i always find myself back in the same place i stood
before. helpless, crying, alone. all my life i can remember creating happiness
for others, trying to soothe their souls of platonic caring. and now, here i am
lost inside it again. watching people bloom together because i thought it was my
own happiness, my own destiny.
i cant stop crying. for one moment sometimes i think nothing can stop me.
others, its all psychological mania. i cant stop thinking about how much ive
messed up myself, my life, my own friends. im tired of being on the outside
looking in. im tried of crying myself to sleep because everything i do is wrong.
im sick of not knowing who i am inside. like a dreaded disease wrapped around my
face. my acne. or more likely, my eyes. the most deadly part of me. staring out
with my brain stuck in.
ive never wanted to die. innately afraid of death i hate it. watching it.
believing in it. yet i find myself wondering if it would be the answer.
i just told a friend down the hall, i wanted to run far away in the middle of nowhere,
and run naked, pick flowers, be crazy. maybe fly with the clouds, like rainbow
on a rainy day. never 2 places at once. oh, and how in my dreams i would fly.
falling, scared, and woundless. always waking up before id hit the ground. maybe
tonight,
i will.

shoes on the telephone wire

The city streets
with children skipping ropes,
and dogs running wild
fades into night with the automatic lights.

You look above to see a pole.
fused energy inside a box,
with tangled wires
all interconnected along the skyline.

you follow the wires
almost hypnotically,
as the car moves on.

the lines roll
like waves upon a sea of sheet music.
blank of notes,
you continue to read them.

Scanning the rhythm,
a bump appears.

Old shoes
hung by their laces.

A hidden message
of desperation,
change,
time.

Frozen impressions of life,
like tattered wings
wanting to fly.

The knotted notes
lay swaying,
waiting to sing.

over and over
the days passed by
with strawberry gashes inside her skin
churning like her stomach
the gashes expanded, wrinkling her skin
over and over
they ate away at her
with the happy smile stretched upon her face
like glycerin, it shimmered
nothing mattered
as long as she kept laughing
while the strawberry gashes ate her soul

road trip

watch out, he is watching you.
a little paper bag by the side of the road
-is talking.
a fuzzy tail circulates
around the dusty ground.

he catches you.
your eyes will fade
hypnotized by the silent sounds
that run into me.

this is no game.
those nails are real
as the scares on his face.
a gesture,
waving goodbye from the troubles
and hidden fear.

can you feel him
crunch the bitter ends?
digesting the marbles
to feel the back of your brain.

hold tight,
remember the road.
it's only a stop sign-
a bush-a stream.
wild passions hallucinate in the sky line.
kicking you through time
while cutting holes in a paper bag...

i am shattered within the blood around me
focusing only on my souls well being,
not my heart
for as much as i yearn for love
it abandons me, leaving me yet again,
speechless at your door

but i am still knocking within you.
wiping away the blood off my face
for i see you
but i alone choose to be silent,
unwilling to pursue it,
i just sit as my heart bleeds.
for no blood now can replace any feelings of happiness

paper dreams.
i assemble them in the night
with you,
within the moonshine,
shaking together the black and white comic strips
laying on the roof.
i create magic wings for a cat
that swoon the mouse's ear.
i unfold a fairy,
crystalizing my feet
making me dance with the fireflies.
this origami game
a little man once whistled down my throat,
directing me
into a radiant colored fire
of obsession.
i create
i control
only what the stars command.
watch an open iris jump from a yellow box,
a crane kiss the slippery fish
and the rose,
grow faster than i can create thorns.

these black hands
whisper a life i knew nothing about.
like wishes to be seen,
inside a paper bag.

there is an ocean of you
raining down upon the rooftops.
driving backwards, I see the four conners of my mind
fogging up
leaving a dusting on the review mirror.
nothing to guide me-
but i can still see you.
yes,
very very
clearly now.
a rainbow slides across my sunglasses
blinding the very essence of my existence.
each sweaty palm
radiates parcipatation.
a black light
left on over night-inside a dream
and in this dancing relfection.
a cat
walks the line
between
you and me.
can you see
what she sees?

i blink,
the rain stops,
as the shadows lead me home
into the ocean.

my mind is the age of 32 years, it just looks 7.

sometimes i sit and think about it.
the winding turns of spark plugs and jingling bells,
even the joint lock and position of each memory grain of sand.
it surprises me about how dejavu occurs in the strangest ways,
a 5 seconds movie playing in your sleepy head, means so much in senses.
subliminal messages waver like a radio's flipping static
buzzing away at the soft eye lids,
the pressure dilutes the color creating the black and white mask.
the glossy finger prints piece of the puzzle into a digital time frame,
some linger as if, possessed of enlightenment.
all so strange and wonderful at the same time,
we only remember that one image,
maybe a purple gum ball,
rolling out of the machine.

the moon

sometimes i lie awake at night
wondering why the stars are hiding from the moon.
and if the mysterious tapping at the window sill
-are the relentless chatter of fairies and goblins
always ringing through my ears.
but these things softly change.
like the expiration date
printed on the back of your hand,
fresh to sight and sound
but sour to the ear.
these unanswered questions
become enigmas
buireid deep within a grain of sand
on the bottom of the ocean floor.
silence makes the glitter fall
and once again i am in desguise.
running from the clouds
my eyes turn grey,
focusing at what is left
of the dim moon.

the mind of a child

destination nowhere
running through the wide fields of rushing water
waves of thought
dangling like wires
sparking a moment
like watching fireflies whizzing bye

this strange place
where time is only what is
not to be
like the rain
drops of wine
from golden grapes
stream
to the
silver plated ground

silence
engulfs your sanity
the pieces of your mind
broken
your eyes dont help your soul
find an answer

but,
you free the chains
of mind
bond by bond
searching
inside the mind
of a child

i will always be,
inside the mind
of a child

lost within you

am i shallow,
or are you too scared
to swim in the waters beneath me?
pour me out
from the inside
as the shadows linger
and you're still waiting.

where are you going?
walking along the beach
the stick passes through the sand
pressing deeply
like your hand against my stomach
creating letters,
dreams,
moments of-
rain,
filtered through screens
hung across the sky.

cursed screams pop the bubbles.
a voice
so strong,
it coos.
a whisper overlays the land
and i am gone.
lost thoughts
and blinking eyes,
dots like stars
plusing.

i wish you knew
i am lost within you.

~the keyboard~
typing allows you to shift
enter
and delete your life
re

arange it
some can control it
to lock and
unlock
what you see
inserting images
and making unknown
mark$
but, no matter what
you end up
home
upon your
keyboard

obstructive thoughts
dismal, outraged,
my own ideas keep behind the trees.
I'm hanging on the branch,
holding on as the wind flies by.

tears whitewash my face
eating the stains off the clothing.
i don't know why,
rainstorms ravish my eyes.
these drops of regret
a surreal reality
that my plastic past
kills.

i try to mold the clay,
but my face won't fit.
i am still stuck here,
on the paper board box
reading:

I'm joyous envy,
do you have rational thought?

inside

show me around this place you know o so well
the paint peeling off the walls
the chairs old from use
pictures scattered along the hallways
words written on the cieling
this dark and holy place
born here, and will end up dead here
the eternal pit of saddness
and maybe once, a giggle or smirk
this space, small yet wide holds the
past
present
and future
within the threads of
complications and desire
the memories and shattered dreams
i live in my home
where ever it may lead
inside me

ice cream is falling from the sky.
not quite the pennies from heaven you thought.
but still, marshmallow and chocolaty goodness
to ones mind.

you can't expect it to all come down.
landing on your plate,
chopped to perfection.
dainty spots of flavor doused with a kick,
flourishing in the crowned watermelon,
dancing on the tongue.

it's a fickle found food
that we eat like sheep.
snorting in an obstructed field of mustard,
minty leaves tangled in thorns,
garnished upon white,
stoned, gashes of our own blood.

it is all looking back at us.
staring from the red to our own deep black.
the enriched sugar coated bliss we call happiness,
spills out like a package of M&M's on the floor.

it becomes a craving of mad-mass rush.
emotions conquered by an unfulfilled past
present, and future.
held within your hands,
and kissed by our own lips.

quickly grab it,
that slippery feeling,
dropped from the sky,
before it all seems to melt away.

I'm going to walk a winding circle of no return.
relentless awakening of disaster
fumes release the smell of regret.
i have no atmosphere to run to,
no place of redemption.
i wish to surf the skies limited bounty
stars of each tail,
animal, mineral,
nothing more.

a begining-less end of imagination.
why do we ask to see, when we can't even hear the question?
blank faces of misinterpretation.
give me something to hold,
only to give nothing back again.

i want this circle of pen,
looping inside my spine
words chime like bells in my ears
creeping my soul into my mouth.
can i spit blood and live?
or again, is my beauty the numbers in my head?

i want to jump into the heart of darkness,
but i am afraid i will just disappear.

head in a jar

my conscious is floating
with this empty solitude
im trapped-
my head
stuck inside a jar.
this foggy bliss
of misunderstood sadness
awakens my senses
hallowing the pit of
deep,
dark,
changed emotions.
i am left
within myself
to decide
how to escape.

Hands.
Simple fingers.
They work rhythmically without trouble.
Touching.
Lingering on paper,
And slipping out of pockets.
A strange phenomenon
We let them get the best of us.
Moving without control
Damaging the world around us.
Sewing together while breaking apart
Our own skin.
We loom souls
Interlocking
Each
Strand
Of hair.
As they tango
And still fall to your side.
Hands.
They work wonders
In artistic vibrations
Each leaving spider webs
Across my palms.

so near,
so far away

i live these days,
within the moment
broken and faded
traveling with a smile on my face
waiting for the lasting hallelujah

I chant, within the chorus
following the notes along
tryingtoblendin
just waiting to say,
hallelujah

haikus

i watch you be
but it doesn't occur to me
that i am not here


i see the open sky
blustered and broken with rain
washing me away


i died today
laying upon the swollen ground
to see the daisies


i lead the parade
but the mourners did not follow
death was upon them


i smile at your glance
you don't think it happens to me
yet, death is my neighbor


jump in the air
watch time stop
for, the elevator keeps moving


am i a fool?
for now i am
to think i shall ever be in love.

There is glimmer,
a reflection of the past.

this blade of shiny renewal
each evil tendency with fear of fragile hands,
calls my destiny.

but i say no more
throwing the pebbles back
running myself into the river

red jewels dissolved,
an image lost.

just white markings
firmly pressed
on the window pane

sticky is the sight and sound,
while translucent daylight appears.

around edgy movements,
the feelings of cumbersome relationships
reveled and hidden
thrash the heart and heads,
within.

its no more denial
than a slow flowing river in Egypt.
even if the stream is long,
and beautiful,
the pain runs deep through out.

i steer towards the reflection,
grieved in time,
as the ripples play tag
in scattered stripes across my face.

the rock thrown from a cloud
shattered my image of hope.
an easy illusion,
for ones mind can only be fooled by the eyes of another.

the gods laugh at my peril.
a disgrace of virtue
lies at my feet.
bare and ragged, they stand
once cherished by an eye of their own.

the innocence
of a child's fear,
only to be seen as virgin.

but the glass
is hard and cold,
when pulled from the past.
this memory
of a love once lost,
is stuck inside my grasp.

Fairy tale or Fiction? he said, rasing the sheet to our eyes.
We all gasped in fear of what we might see. Before us stood a piece of work
so profound, we couldn't help but hold ourselves back. It was more of an
illusion we thought, a trick of the circling, looping, and watering eyes. Almost
as if a fiercely bold fire struck up awakening our senses, yet leaving us blind.
I could not understand it. That odd feeling of not knowing the
answer to a simple question.
i stood up and reached at it, touching the glowing image inside.
The only thing was, i was touching myself.

i am a fortune cookie
twisted inside,
cripsy as bacon
but sweet beside

all i know
is what i tell,
on that piece of paper
written in hell

for today
this is what i see,
clear blue skies
inside a deep blue sea

you eat the cumbs
and throw the words away
but no one knows,
it could have saved your day

a part of me
-this is a song-

a part of me,
flutters in the wind
like butterflies, within my mind.
a part of me,
dances to a tune
which moves me gently to my side,
a part of me,
is not within my soul
its moving all around
in time..
the music starts to play
and lifts me away
to a far off land....
a land, where we are
free.

open your eyes,
see what your missing.
open your eyes,
and see me, through my own.
in this land, nothing seems to change,
not even your own age, if you try
if you only try
to see yourself, and everyone around
as they are
as they really are....

a part of me,
flutters in the wind
like butterflies, within my mind.
a part of me,
dances to a tune
which moves me gently to my side,
a part of me.

another forbidden tapestry hangs upon the wall
yet we keep working behind it,
as more women herd in to sew its fragile pieces together
like a famous book with no title
we are baffled but amazed.
these things things are just another reminder
a simple question of will verses brains.
i vote for nothing,
because i already know the worth of a check mark.
5 cents.
they gather once again at the side of the road
one reading a book
and another singing a song.
her eyes stare deeply into yours
and now you have fallen
into the spell.
a voice of redemption calls back
save yourself
but you keep penetrating
for as much as your heart wants to be free
you can not give it away for a price.
a human soul is worth more than
a piece of string.

fate has brought us here
to the moment
of emptiness.
why must we all long for the day
that has already arrived.
like the pain wasn't worth
the experience.
i too want something more.
some lasting flavor
not left on my tongue
on a Saturday night.


i hate cherries.
like made up condom flavors
we choose only what we see.
never catching the sight
set before us.


i want to dine in your arms,
in compassionate displacement,
in solitude.
like a grasshopper swaying in the night
to move with the tender greens
and night lilies.


its like a pond
frog less of chirping
with silent splatters upon my face.
my pale arms collapse
and i wonder,
how long will it take
before the sun rise...

hold me
my hand is falling off.
blistered beyond belief
i come closer.
trying to feel you.

open your eyes
so you can see it.
scissors kicks abound
my every move.

motionless i bind you,
ripping away the tape marks,
unravelling a masterpiece

i used to be a string of hope
a balancing wire
of imagination.
wrapping my finger around you
i knew no end.
yet now,
it is all broken.
falling apart as fast as my hands
can rip.
dying,
like pine needles in the ground.

gather me.
hold me.
glue me back together again.
so now,
i can love you

faded love

with-held dreams
from out stretched arms
tango in the air

what once was beautiful
and full of love
is now dying towards the sky

like the snow in June
and
the December sun
colors flood the sky

the fireworks
of an endless love
are faded in my eye

im just waiting for my eyes to freeze.
burn closed
like an unknown dream
shadowed wind calls me
singing,
dancing,
dragging me down.

maybe if you kill me
i wont feel the pain.
a dusting eyeshadow
like paint chips
stuck under my skin.

freak,
thats what you call me.
deadly apprehension
just one of those many setences
you just cant seem to finish.

you hold me here
inside your eyes
with the devil whispering,
"what is left of your soul?"

snow angels are calling me.
freedom pending
just as my lashes touch,
collasping fright.

oh,
nothing but simple despair.
i am numb to fear.

why do i try anymore?

storm clouds crashed with frivolous envy
the thunder bolts, broke like glass
my eyes, wide as marbles
glance onward

the house shakes,
eminence of a earth quake
thrashing my head

I felt as if my brain was inside a giant blender
waves of fear and hopelessness swishing together

I found myself, stuffed inside the closet
shaking, the bumps crawled against my back

it was eating me alive

my heart, skipping beats
lagged rhythm, as if the record has stopped

the picture was fading
as my eyes watered

now, if only I could wake up

feel it stop.
the beating of your heart
follows my hand-against your chest.
adrenaline rush,
poked a hole
inside my blue eyes.

the touch.
a flush collapse.
this hidden danger
like a key
digs in a dusty book,
hidden from view.

magnify the glossary,
because i cant understand the words.
it is all simply,
making me,
fade.

i dissolve in you.

can you feel me too?

Holding lightly

Words that make you aware

Your head's spinning

No one knows you're not there

Blankly staring

Strangers call you a friend

The power you hold

Is a power that mends
-tonic

dead day dreams
scared my arms.
shivering as i clutched my stomach,
i could feel it pull away.
as if aliens
probed
my tubes.
the irrational sharpness
lingered between my eyes.
flashing
crashing
b o o m

all is gone.

and i awake
gently gliding
inside my veins,
drug addicted
going insane.

pulsating,
i anticipate the actions.
following the dots
until the numbers shrink,
a line leads longer
treading the path
my finger cuts.

i drop into it.
a deep hole
where the wires once
wrapped my braided hair.

a voice screams
e c h o-i n g

never stop,
holding me..

it's lightning
a tail end of nothingness
when you can admit
yes,
I'm alone.
what is left
of my stolen confession
when the problem
is stuck between marbles
rolling inside the tightly woven
underground feeding fields.

i stand here
half eaten,
like a dead cow on a rainy day
bleeding,
searching for a savior
inside the eyes of a star.

my hand interlocks yours
& the race track lines escalates.
i open the springtime buds
streaming from my finger tips
growing emptiness
from compassion
that was ignored,
like a hang nail of regret.

i watch the sky
for the shiny reflection
of lightning unseen.

dandelions ripped my hair out
i could see the blood
drip
slowly
creating tattoos across my face
my hand gesture creates
a blinking prayer
one long swoop of
lifeless sparks
running through my veins.
i can feel the power
ringing bells in my ears
drowning my subconscious
eating away my soul
a tangled web woven by dead spider
legs, faltered
eyes, dried out--
he just stares

at the dandelions

damaged thoughts

I'm lyrical inclined to die tonight.
my bliss, hopeful and enlightened,
doesn't know if its own will can last.

as much as happiness is memorable,
it soon will fade
lost in my mind of troubles
another face will appear
a love, a friend, an imaginary desire

it becomes no use to stuff myself.
food is no equal to a candy kiss.
sure as the wind blows the clouds away,
and snow flies like glitter,
Salvador Dali's picture
becomes unstoppable mayhem,
having no alternative answer.
just you,
only
alone.

could you believe
in rainbows and magic tricks.
those little mints
that you've dont know where they've been.
or that random stuff, always at the bottom on your bag
the stuff you play with,
and sometimes makes you mad.
its like popcorn on a rainy day
almost as if, the movies are playing all day
in my eyes
a fog that never lifts
that scares me.

over and over again

sweet dreams she said,
as she closed her eyes.
because to believe
is a lie

im writing a story, about a girl and a guy
who both fall in love, and in the end die.
lets start at the begining, and never find an end
for these kinds of stories, never mend.
you think its easy, to read along
but these thick pages, are not a song.
the tune is flat, and sounds off key
but thats all now, you will ever see.
sometimes the truth, is hard to find
because its lies, deep inside the mind.
i know what comes now, on the last page
the ending note, of that sour phrase.
just close your eyes, and look away
for those thoughts are meant, for a rainy day.

i want to assimilate through time, in a distant place when i know i belong.
time place me here.
happiness stands on the doorstep to my despair.
elapsing, falling, and landing on my feet.
i don't know this feeling.
eating the deprivation from the pit of my stomach.
i've forgotten once again, the story of love. the longing takes care of the
mind, but not the soul. we place our hands above our hearts, hoping that
perfection will also fall into place-without flushing everything down the toilet.
a high string tunes the violin, like the cd player spins inside my hand-into my
blood-feasting on my ears once again.
stop the words from coming into my mouth. stop each refracted sound within these walls.
kill my sight. i cant stand to watch them all smile as i suffer.
connecting the dots-the image-creates itself
another moment, day, minute...and here i am staring at the white wall-
waiting for time to take me away.

whistling,
I felt the wind glide off your lips.
my hair landed on your face,
an unmeant marker of affection
by charging your face.

holding the moon,
i could feel my heart pop
inside your eyes.
the glossy blue cover
circles my own
lashing apart

i reach for you hand
possessed entirely of hopelessness.
my fingers lick your palm
intrigued by the veins.

i taste nothing in you.
an empty gum drop
missing the candy coated center.
the juice flows out,
missing the target
i prayed for.

the wind is changing.
your tongue fences the air
a stripping sacrifice
of moments
untouched.

i dance.
a finger minuet
between the diamonds glow.
testing rigid nails,
to the bitter frost
of the night.

i watch the illusion.
like magical fairy dust,
we all disappear
behind the wind.
just remembering,
the wind
and
a song.

I swallowed a penny
Thought I’d turn to gold
Become a sculpture of time
Coated—green with envy


But I was cold
Living on the refrigerator door
Frozen
To the broken light bulbs


My stomach churned
Rough pastels-smudged my throat
Gracious
Dismissed
The feelings are gone


The money wires
Plugged dollar signs
Forcing Lincolns face
On my forehead


Charred amber
Washed her eyes
Like porcelain
The dolls tears
Sank


The penny ran throughout
Under siege of language
The collapsed
The deranged
The miss informed


There was chemical imbalance
A penny dissolved inside
My hand turned-
to stone

angels

dance in the light
that comes before the sun
in step with the time
that brings you upon the ground

as glittering rain falls,
your wings bring you up
to sail with the wind
away from your troubles
pounding against the rage
you move on

floating with the clouds
you rise
silence falls
and all bow before you

nature quits
for angels

ode to aluminum foil

ode to aluminum foil
that cracks and crinkles
while shining with the crisp sense of silver

ode to aluminum foil
that enwraps my hair with gooey splendor
which makes me itch, while glittering in a strange paradise

ode to aluminum foil
that keeps all my goodies freash to eat
while keeping the fridge neat in its kingdom of food

ode to aluminum foil
to which i can crumble into a tight ball
aim, throw, and dispose all at once

ode to aluminum foil
true joy in a funny box

an honest mistake

im attracted to misery
pulled inside--from the waist down
this haunting creation.
my pain resembles the wings
of a forgotten goddess.
like a tattooed mistake
the artist left hanging,
thick lines
dripping pleasure
lie through my black veins.

what an "honest mistake,"
she may have said.
just another beautiful illusion
an oil on canvas
with a slight water color stain.

with a twisted smile
my blood sank
fading gently-
I could see the misery was no longer engraved.
broken up
my skin-my heart,
deranged between the magnetism-

what brought me to this unwanted mark

1st love

they say that your 1st love
is the one that you will always remember.
the ups and downs.
all the stupid silly sounds.
characteristics of your love
or what you thought love was.
there are tiny hidden gates in a relationship.
they open and close unexpectedly. shutting you into confusion.
you confess yourself to him. you proclaim your soul.
then she doesn't know him anymore.
he is closing a door to open another.
for not even a simple friendship could save-
her
or
him
from this wall.
a shattered tapestry
if she could have only found the right thread
just so she could see what it would have become.
who he could have been.
but no,
lies lurk in the dark
and shadowed emotions kill.
like eyes
no matter how beautiful
or blue.


she cries once again.
locking the door
behind her.